1/31/2018

Ok. Yes with ALL CAPITAL LETTERS-YES! We are super happy that Daddy’s awake. 23 days of medically induced coma was not enjoyable in the least. For him. For us.

It’s hard to explain the state in which he is in. He literally cannot talk. Although he tries with gusto. Not even a whisper can escape his lips. He can’t write on a white board, point,etc... he is completely helpless.

And of course the plan all along was for him to wake up. It was medically induced. He could not breath with any other method and it was the only choice. To allow the machine to breath for him, for his body to heal, etc.

And so, yes, he’s awake. And yes, he has a long road ahead of him. His left lung is still having trouble and there is much damage and scarring.

Daily, they try to wean him from oxygen. Some days are better than others. But the days that are not better are still better. (??)

Better because his body also needs rest. And the days that aren’t so great are actually good. Rest. Good.

When he “talks” he tries so hard to be heard; understood. (Forgive my repeating the same things over and over...I don’t remember what I already said but sometimes I think I said something that I didn’t say or maybe I did. ...) ummm. This girl needs some serious sleep. (Haha)

The main point of this update is to say, I pulled up my boot straps really high and put on my big girl clothes and went to the hospital. Strong. Able. Ready to do this. And I did.

He wore himself out trying to communicate. I videoed him to show him what “I” see. And his eyes widened. I could see all of the whites of his eyes. And I said, see? We gotta figure out a better way here.

And so I was just sunshine and sparkles and repeating everything I already told him because he has much memory leaks.

I told him to give me a smile. I laughed. You know what? I just made his day happy. And laughed at serious things just to keep it light.

He loved it. We had a rapport. It was altogether lovely. I studied him, I bossed him, I made jokes about everything. We stole “your crazy” glances at one another.

And then it was time to leave. It took me an hour to leave. At least. I didn’t want to, but my peeps needed my reassurance and presence.

I do FaceTime them often and even FaceTimed with Daddy for them. They were bubbly and joyful putting on a strong front. (We talked. Me and the kids. And decided we would be as happy as possible for his eyes. And if we wanted to fall apart later, we would. )

I wish I had a picture of David watching his kids love and miss him on the phone. His eyes were so happy and bright. I said you love them, don’t you? He nodded.

I did get on to him sometimes. ‘Honey, all your numbers are going crazy because your trying so hard to say something and you need to rest. Let me ask yes and no questions and we will figure it out. I’m right here, not going anywhere.’

I often say, ‘Are you ok? Do you hurt?’ And went down a long list of all sorts of things to try and deduce what he is trying to say.

On the way home: LIGHTBULB! I figured out one thing he was trying to say!

That man. That beautiful, awesome, wonderful man was most worried about me and the kids getting sick by coming to see him. It all fell in place.

I can honestly say he is the most compassionate person I have ever met. Always thinking of others. Always! He ruins all my attempts at being better.

I kissed him, wiped his sweaty brow, slicked his hair back, and said he looked like John Travolta, Saturday Night Fever style. Or Joe Jr in While You Were Sleeping. He gave me the look.

I love the look. He is there. It’s just gonna take a while for everything to fall in place. That’s ok. I have time.

I said I’m really going now, and he made an attempt to roll his eyes. It’s not full on roll, but I saw. I had already said I was leaving 100 times. I asked him if he believed me. He shook his head no.

Look at that winning after coma smile! Looks pretty darn good if you ask me.

Love, his shelli