1-12-2018

We had a few meltdowns this morning. Everyone misses dad, and his presence is sorely missed. We spent time thinking of the things we loved most about him. The way his beard tickles our necks when he hugs us…the way he always brings us coffee in the morning. The way he smells like rain…His laugh…and so many other things. Yesterday, hannah balanced the checkbook, something that dad usually does. Dad also usually pays the bills. And has his own organizational methods which make absolutely no sense to the untrained mind. But nevertheless, we persisted and figured out the bills. We paid the water, and the internet, and the electricity. We felt like badasses. It was something we had never done before, and we nailed it. Our hearts are heavy today. Me and David will be married for 24 years in a couple of weeks. I have to wonder if he will be awake by then.

Today, we all went to the hospital. It took us a while to get there, but we finally made it. One at a time we went into his room. Jerry came into town on emergency leave, and I think he was more than a little surprised at the condition he found his father in. He looked a little shook when he came out.

David is maybe 1/8 better today? Maybe? Its hard to tell. Its hard to see him like that. It is the hardest when there is nothing we can do to fix anything.

Today, I asked the nurse to tell me what it was they were feeding him through the tube. It turns out it had everything he was allergic to! I was so upset! So, they had to pump his stomach of all the bad stuff and get him on something he can actually benefit from. Maybe now he can actually start to really improve!

Poor Jonny had tears after seeing his daddy. He looked at the pictures of him and his daddy on his kindle, and just cried. Matthew was next although it took him a while to decide if he could even handle seeing his daddy like that. Matthew is a brave person, he never cries. But today, he cried.

(sidebar…my strong girl, Hannah, wrote this today, referring to herself in the third person.  I have to say, I could not have said it better.)

And now it’s the Momma’s turn.  After being asked numerous times if David was allergic to anything, and me explicitly telling them about gluten and dairy and that he is EXTREMELY allergic and has terrible reactions.  I know first hand.  The first ten years we were married, he was ssssooooo sick.  It wasn’t until he grew worse that we sought the help of a naturopathic Doctor who we knew when we first got married.  She was a nurse at the time but had since become a natural practitioner.  It was by pure fate that our paths crossed again so many years later.  She helped us discover that David had Celiac disease.  It took a good six months to see any improvement. But it was all up hill after that.  It has been as if he was never sick.  So, yes, as his advocate, I emphasized and reiterated explicitly of his allergies. 

 Today, when we visited him, I was explaining to the children what each tube did and meant that was attached to David.  I said, this is the feeding tube. And here is the bag full of nutrients.  I noticed it had ingredients, and curiously read them.  I am an ingredient reader. I have to, being married to a man who becomes deathly ill if he has certain things.  Guess what the THIRD ingredient was….MILK. And for THREE DAYS they have been feeding him what, to us, is poison.  I was livid.  The nurse was very prompt in removing the bag and withdrawing the remaining residue from his stomach with a syringe.  I had noticed for several days that his stomach was very bloated.  And it may just be a normal occurrence; but I would not be surprised if it was the very thing holding him back from progressing forward. I was more than a little mad.   

And so, that was our day.  To those who only want an update, sorry for all the words.  This update is mostly for David’s mom, Esther.  And you will have to suffer through all the personal things because it is hard to find time to do otherwise. ;)

Thank you for all your concern and well wishes.  We appreciate it more than you know.

Love, Michelle and Hannah