1/23/2018

I discovered this book not long ago. It was empowering; inspirational; and all those other words that don’t come to mind at the moment...

And today, I felt strong. How? Just yesterday I was falling apart. But I started thinking about it after talking to David’s momma yesterday. She always asks about the kids. “How are they doing?” Not good most of the time, in all honesty.

I told her that I took them with me yesterday. I couldn’t bear to leave without them yesterday. All eyes were full of tears. And we needed each other.

They brought puzzle books and stuff to do in the waiting area, thanks to an ever caring and loving cousin on David’s side. So sweet. She knew just what to drop off for them. She, also has had to battle illness and hospitals, and I would say she is an expert in the area of survival mode. Thank you, tracie, and your precious family!

The kids don’t come with me to Daddy’s room. It’s just too hard for their fragile hearts. Their choice and I concur.

I see him everyday. If that’s not strong, then what is? One point of ‘strong’ my way.

David’s mom encouraged me to distract them and do something fun. She didn’t say ‘put on a strong front’ but I hung up thinking that.

After our hospital visit, I took them to ‘On The Border’ for chips and veggie fajitas. I forgot that was a safe place to go with all of our allergies. We spent an hour of eating and enjoying and laughing. Just to take a break from pain. We didn’t ‘try’ to take a break. It just happened.

I don’t always put on strong. But David’s mom inspires me. Just by her positive outlook. I love her so much!

In reflection of all the things we have been through during this time, strong has been there. It has carried me; us.

And David’s voice helps me find my way.

“Put the stick in the back door.” (Sliding glass door)

“It’s below freezing. We need to turn on the faucets and open the cabinets.”

Bills. I have made a chart on the white board. And, as the bills come in, I list them. What we owe, to whom, when, and then a place to “check” when we pay.

The machine continues to run. We are manning it. We are strong. Daddy will be so proud of us.

David continues to move forward at the pace of a snail. But at least it’s not backwards.

Hope comes and goes. Today it was full force and I feel strong.

How will tomorrow be? I don’t know. I am just relishing in “strong.” Tomorrow isn’t here yet.

I have a friend who came by and hung out with the kids. Their friend, too. He is amazing!

David’s brother comes tomorrow to help us with taxes. He really adds to our safeness. I don’t know why... probably because he looks a lot like Daddy. And his hugs are nice. His wife...such a devoted and strong person who is priceless if you have her in your side. She will go to the ends of the earth for you. Strong lady.

My beloved text friend with three little girls. Her words ALWAYS strengthen me. She texts me almost everyday and she has been a true source of ‘don’t give up’ and how she sees me. Strong. Even when I don’t feel it. Or see it. She is ALWAYS reminding me that I am. And it’s hard not to believe, after being told as much as she tells me.

As for the far and wide spread of prayers and friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends, etc... I am freaking overwhelmed. I mean, like, whaaat?

All I have done is focus on my guy and my kids. From the beginning. ( I tell myself, everything will work out. It’s ok. ).

And you know what? It is. How could I NOT BE STRONG with the multitude that surrounds us? Tell me, how?

David’s sister has been invaluable. She is the one who set up the go fund me. She just stepped in with her strong self.

We are surrounded by strong people. It makes us strong.

Thank you so much for your prayers and gifts. It adds enormously to our strong-ness.

Strong REALLY IS the new pretty.

Love, Michelle

Ps. Beloved texting friend?

Buy that book for you and your girls. It has the greatest message.

“Strong Is The New Pretty.” I think you would love it!

I showed the nurse of the day a picture of David. He was so appreciative of it. To know what he “really” looks like. He thanked me and was so encouraging of David’s progress, little though it may be, I felt strong.

The picture:

Pps. To the three consistent people who leave comments? I long for them. I love them! Thank you thank you infinity.

And to my momma. It breaks my heart to see you watching me cry. Because you feel helpless in how to help. Rest assured, you are doing it. Just by being there. I love you so much.

I feel like I have won a Grammy and I am thanking everyone I can for making it possible. I really didn’t mean to go on and on. But I kept thinking of more and more people. And I can think of even more, but I will need to save it for another day.

I cannot end without mentioning my children. We are so close and woven together. We help one another. Dry one another’s tears... i don’t want to even think about having to go through this without you.

Strong is the new pretty.

(Thank you Snapchat for all the cool things you can do with my selfies! Snapchat? U love you!)