The days drag by. The longest dad has ever been gone is 3
days, and that was when he and the boys went camping. Today, he will have been
gone for 11 days. On Sunday, it will be his and mom’s anniversary. 24 years.
Will he be awake? Highly improbable. I don’t know how much longer he will be
asleep. I miss him so much.
Everybody is wearing his clothes. Matt and Jono have his
hoodies, and I have one of his jackets, so does mom. They smell like him. I
miss his big bear hugs, and the way he laughs. I miss feeling safe at night.
Noises wake me up, and if someone broke in, I would have no idea what to do. Usually
Id call for dad…I miss him so so so much. I don’t even know how to say it. I don’t
even want to wake up in the morning, because I know he isn’t here. I just want
to curl up in a ball and wait until its all over.
He is holding stable today. No better, no worse, but stable.
That in and of itself is something to be happy about. He was having a kidney
problem, and having trouble retaining fluids. But that started to be a little
better yesterday. We had a lengthy argument about who would want to donate an
organ to dad if he needed it. It went something like, “Me!” “No, Me!” No organs
need donating today though. Today he is ok.
I am not even sure what to say in these updates. There isn’t
much to say. Y’all keep on praying. And thank you again for everything…so much.
I remember when we worked together I would try to say something funny to make him laugh. When I was blessed enough to see him Sunday I did what I'd normally do when I would see him. I made a joke right off the bat. Something I knew would make him laugh. I half expected him to just wake up and laugh. Made me very sad when he didn't. Even though we don't talk a lot and I havent seen him in over a year, I really miss him.
ReplyDeleteWe are keeping on praying! Thanks for the updates, they mean so much!!
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