Baby Steps

David is doing pretty well. Today I was able to see many positive steps forward. 
It was refreshing.

Getting up by himself,
as we stand by to assist,
if needed.
Sitting at the table to eat his meals.

Oxygen is a large part of his day; even more so while sleeping.

Will this be a
forever thing? 
Maybe.
It is undetermined
at this time.
Realistically speaking.

Can things change?
And surprise us?
Most definitely!
But now is all we have,
for the moment.

He does tire out easily,
but it is to be expected.

He has not used
EVERY MUSCLE
OF HIS BODY
for 90 days...

And every time he walks,
He aches.
Every time he exercises,
He aches.;
to be expected.

His body is also still ‘purging’
the paralytic
he was given
while in a coma. 

Baby steps and strides.
To us?
Baby steps
ARE
Strides.

They are nothing to be
taken lightly.
Every step forward
is more than a step.
It’s a leap. (to us...)

Today  he told me
he hoped
I wouldn't get tired
of helping him...
And I  just
cried and cried.
‘I will not! EVER!
I am all in.'
And many other words... that he feels like
he can't do
anything
for me.
And i reassure him
that he most certainly can and does!
I'm honest;
I cry;
he lends his 'bony' shoulder for me to cry on. And he says
 'I got you.' 
That is everything!

And so we are growing and crying
and learning
and accepting
and living today.
And a turning point today is that
this is what we have.
A new chapter.
Another new beginning.
A grieving from what was and a learning
of what is and is to come. And a new life
that can be
just as beautiful. However...
we must learn the ropes. We cry.
We laugh.
We worry.
We grow.
Hopefully we settle in
and find peace.

New thoughts.
Still stretching.
I'm just
bouncing off words
your way
in hopes that they
bounce back to me
so I can see
something new.

And thank you, kind friend, for sharing hard but truthful thoughts that helped me arrive in this moment. I can breathe.

We are patiently waiting for SSDI (disability)
to be approved.
We are THANKFUL
for legal advice concerning bills owed.
Again, we can breathe.

Now to just make it through another month.

If anyone has any advice about financial assistance for disabled people besides SSDI, we would greatly appreciate your thoughts. 

I will, at some point, find employment to contribute;  as soon as he is able to manage on his own.
Until then,
we are all he has got,
and I will stay by his side until I know he will be safe.

Thank you so much
for hanging in there
with us!

I think I’m drawn to continue writing the blog just as a reminder
that you are there
and somebody cares.
It helps me move forward.

XO
Shelli