Tranglish

The morning started off with a call from David speaking tranglish. (Trach English. Where he says a word in a raspy voice and pauses in between each word.). So picture that in the following: ‘I have several problems this morning. Number one, my left chest tube came out and number two I’m coughing up blood.

I probably don’t have to explain my reaction...but whaaat??????panic on the inside. Coolness on the outside. I am becoming quite ‘cool.’ But it’s not so ‘cool’ to me...

Yesterday MORNING he had a CT scan on his chest because the doctor didn’t like the way the X-ray looked. It was a weekend Doctor that is in the same pulmonary practice. I ‘all capped’ morning because I waited and waited for him to call and let me know the results. No call after several attempts on my part to call him. :/

I told David to tell the Doctor to call me when he came into his room this morning. And to pull the Power of Attorney card if needed. 

Shortly after, the Doctor called. He is NOT my favorite Doc. I had A LOT of questions, however after each question answered he tried to cut me off and let me go. 

‘One more question’
‘One more question’ 
‘One more question’ etc...

Long story short...
CT Scan was positive. No air in the chest cavity. YAY!
Blood from cough and trach drainage was just trach trauma. Nothing to worry about. And he had no more for the rest of the day. 
The chest tube was already clamped and coming off this week sometime anyway if 
X-rays looked positive. And it did look positive this morning. So all that needed to be done was to stitch up the incision from the chest tube; a minor procedure done at bedside. 
As to the repercussions of damaged lungs from the pneumonia, it will be hard to judge for about a year. Some things will repair and somethings will not. 

After I got David’s phone call, we rushed around to leave straight away. I debated whether to take the boys. But it was our day to go and I did not give them full disclosure. I just told them they would need to stay in the waiting area so I could check on him first. I didn’t even make time to change out of my pajamas. Pajama day. Yay!

All was well. He is extremely tired after a very hard week (last week). Heavy and thick sputum hanging out in his chest causing shortness of breath, uncomfortableness and ceaseless coughing.
He did not have a restful week. And so today, he was tired. So tired.

However, the mucous had thinned out and was starting to come out finally, and he didn’t sound so gravelly every time he breathed. YAY!

So the day started out in a panic but not... we are unfortunately learning the art of ‘what will be will be,’ ‘there is not one thing we can do about it,’ ‘don’t be surprised at bad news,’ and ‘just go with it.’

I have tried to read ‘When bad things happen to good people’ by Harold Kushner for years, but never finished. Not from lack of interest but just lack of time. I have time now....I have been reading it to David. The chapters are long, and we have yet to get through the first one, but it is sssssoooo good. I mean, like, really. 

I am not intellectual enough to give you a profound summary of the first chapter, but without abrasiveness, he challenges us to think outside the box, which is definitely where we desire to live. We WILL be finishing that book soon.

I am not one to mark interesting things in books, only because I wind up underlining the whole chapter. But, boy, did I ever whip out my pen and underline several things and not the whole chapter. I am so proud of myself. ;)

So an almost eventful yet uneventful day...heavy sigh of relief.

We didn’t watch a movie, but we watched a few things in the Disney channel while ‘Daddy slept.’ It was good to see him rest. 

When he woke up, David’s brother and his wife slipped in. A happy surprise. A room full of family love...

‘We better go now...’
‘No. Don’t leave yet!’ We all say in our own way. We didn’t want it to end. They stayed a little longer. Yay!

Afterwards, we washed David’s hair with those magic caps that you put on and massage into his hair. His brother and wife brought a few for us to keep his hair all shiny. 

Truly it does little but i will take little anyway. Hannah clipped his fingernails and I cut his hair as best I could, trying just for one length all around. I normally love cutting David’s hair. I massage his head with lavender and take my time cutting as if it an art. And it is, really. 

But today, I was trying just to getter done. He wears out easy and gets a little feisty. But today, I really could have just relaxed and enjoyed. Instead I was anxious and going as fast as I possibly could before he wore out. And I wounded myself twice. I have GOOD scissors for hair. They also cut knuckles. 

Wounds did not stop me. I continued to the end with a pause to tape some gauze on my boo boo. I could see the end and I was going for it.  Nothing could stop me except David’s ‘no.’  If he says no?  It’s all over. So I was determined to get to the end before the no. Not very smart of me. 

Oh well. Battle wounds are inevitable. 

He cleans up pretty good for someone who is so far away from being well yet. And he held up quite well through it all. Normally, we have to do things like that in small sessions, but not today. I could not have pulled it off without Hannah. Something about her presence calms him. They are very much alike, in a lot of ways. I love their relationship...

Hopefully he will have an uneventful night. One where he sleeps and rests without many interruptions. 

So... I purposefully included many ‘yay’s’ in this post to remind myself in the midst of the struggle there are indeed a few yay’s and I am trying to find them. I feel like my arms are full of yay’s today. And I will not let them go, but hold them close. 

XO

Shelli

https://www.gofundme.com/whileyouweresleeping