Crashing daily things

Heavy sigh. Yesterday was a meltdown day for me. Many things happened before leaving the house that panicked all of us. But I kept a strong front to ease the panic for jono, Matt and Hannah. (Although inwardly wanting to sink)

You know. Those daily things that just pop up needing attention. And my strong man isn’t here to ‘save the day.’ House things. Car things. Etc...

Today was better. I only cried a little when I glanced at his shoulder bones and clavicle; he almost looks like a holocaust victim. And that is quite hard to take in. 

I can’t spill all of our problems to him. He has enough to think about just breathing. There were four things;  I am underestimating as I think, but so many things that need to be taken care of, and I couldn’t see clearly yesterday just how I was going to manage. And I didn’t have my man to tell all my secrets to, for fear he would worry. That was really hard. I need his shoulder. But he needs mine more. 

Tears escaped several times. I told him I was just having a hard day. No details. Just that ‘I miss you so much.’ 

But today, things have absorbed through me and I have a better view. 

This week was busy. Tuesday I took all of the kids to our Doc. They had been running low grade fevers and then a day of high fevers. And I am very skittish in Dic delay time these days. 

Doc gave them clean bill of health and told me something was going around but that it’s only viral. He wasn’t worried. And I joined him. 

Boys have been fine thus far. As if illness never even happened. 

Hannah, however, is still under the weather, but on the road to recovery. 

Today, I gassed the car up, thanks to a wonderful neighbor. And several of the problems we had yesterday, he helped and is going to help us take care of them, one of which is that part of the garage ceiling collapsed. (Gasp!). Ya. I gasped, too. We all did. I can see my mom and his mom reading this with their jaws hanging. Sorry I didn’t tell you. If I told you everything all the time, it would just be too much. 

David is the center here. And those other things are just daily little occurrences that sometimes happen. Like having a flat and not having a spare. ( no that did not happen and may it never...) 

Our very kind neighbor is going to help us repair the garage and address four more areas that look threatening. What a guy!  

Heavy sigh of relief. And so today’s visit was more upbeat. The world was no longer resting on my shoulders. 

I filed down, very gently, his thumb nails and his pointer nails. He is practicing on his iPad. He wrote me a text last night that surely took him two hours to do. That man. 

It’s true, he is still unable to have visitors. It is why I include pictures and videos more frequently, so you can at least see that. 

I spoke with the doctor today and he said the right lung is now fully inflated. Now that is NEWS, right?

However his left lung is slightly deflated and they are addressing that by returning to chest tube suction. Tomorrow they will take another X-ray to see how things look. 

Forward we go. 

He did not have a lot of coughing today. He also did not talk much and only kept his speech valve on for ten minutes. 

It’s a struggle to breath. May we never take breath for granted ever again. 

No pictures. No videos. But soon. I have to process things first before I can. A new room. A new floor. New nurses. New routines. Trying to regroup and find a groove. 

That’s all I have today. There is more, but it’s long enough. I will save it for another day. 

Thank you for your prayers. Like, really. 

Thank you!

Michelle