Journal of a thousand, ooops...I mean two days

The bronchoscopy went well yesterday.  He found nothing to be concerned with so he also removed the trach and put in a temporary button.

Happiness overflowing!  His voice was  

completely back. He was like his old self.

Only the nose cannula, for the oxygen that he still needs.

Happy guy!

XO

Sittin’ by my man, holding hands, and lots of exchanges of twinkly eyes and goofy ‘first date’ smiles; half way watching a movie. It’s our way. I make him pause a dozen times for this and that; he rolls his eyes, grinning and shaking his head.

Even more pauses that aren’t always my fault. He pauses to tell me something and then something else which leads to a conversation.
We smile. It’s just how we watch a movie. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Just me and him. My man. My love.
Heaven.

What movie?  You ask?

I forgot. 

XO

I recently put an alarm on my phone set for noonish.
The song that plays is:
‘I can’t smile without you.’
Barry Manillo
gotta love him!

The song is my reminder to find at least one positive thing to be thankful for. Just one. More if I can rustle up some. But one at least.

David asks, What’s that for?’  ‘It’s my reminder to find something to be happy about.’
‘Oh that’s nice,’ he says. ‘What did you find today?’
I look at him and say,
‘You.  I am just so glad you are here and alive.’

In the midst of ‘behind the scenes turmoil’ that I try to manage myself 

so David won’t worry, 

my alarm comes on; I 

smile; and for a minute I rise above to catch a happy thought.

I can’t smile without it!
XO
Shelli.

And then.....morning came and the Doc stopped by to see how he was doing. He also removed the trach button and covered the hole with gauze and tape to allow it to close.
‘I will see you tomorrow then, ok?’ Says the Doc.
Magic words to my ears as I’ve had to deal with these ‘get outta my house’ people.

Talk to my Doctor, yo. ;)

XO

Blue clouds...
With the trach button out and the hole covered with gauze and tape, his speech is not as good and the struggle to talk is back again. (Because there is a little air getting through). It’s very temporary, nevertheless, he was a little down. He liked talking without difficulty.
‘It’s coming. Not long from now.  It’s ok.  I love you...’

XO


On the way to the hospital yesterday, I stopped at Snap Kitchen to pick up David meals. I find it so much easier to do that, although I would love nothing better than to prepare all of his meals, but this girl has to find a little easy in her life.

Their meals accommodate David’s allergies and the calories, protein, carbs, etc...are all listed.

We have to keep a food log of all he eats so they know he is getting enough calories.

And an anonymous angel paid for all of my meals. It’s a longer story than I have time to write. But it was a wow moment!

I needed one.

XO


Off goes David to his swallow test after eating a mechanical soft diet for a week.

Passed with flying colors!
The diet changed just a smidge. The speech therapist will check on him tomorrow to see how he is doing. If he does well, he will get finally get his diploma!  ;)

Things are moving forward a little faster than a snails pace.

Niiiieeeeeccccce...

XO

We went to share the day before the holiday of Passover with David, which is called preparation day. We brought a small broom and duster to sweep up any leaven. It’s just a thing we do. Tradition. And it’s fun. 

We brought a few things they he can now have without thickening them up. It was a double celebration. It got late, so we spontaneously just stayed the night...all of us. 

Being all together was so sweet. Do we have to leave?

Next morning, I left Matt to help David with his needs and food AND company. 

Me and the other two left to make the house festive and to plan our ‘snap kitchen meal’ to bring to David’s room so we can all be together. 

If he can’t come to the party?  We will bring the party to him. 

Chag Sameach, ya’ll

And X’s and O’s, too 

Ps... the back of my mind holds all the stress I am trying to manage, but today is a vacation. Those things will still be there tomorrow, so tomorrow I will greet them,

Hopefully not with a grimace. These social workers are vultures. Like really. The ICU social workers were amazing! (But they aren’t for sale on the fifth floor.) 

Oh well, I’m learning to stand tall. I’m pretty short, and a few inches taller definitely won’t hurt. Anything for my man; anything! 

XO

Shelli