The heart attack

The heart attack...

It was scary. I was leaning back resting; but overwhelmed with worry. All of a sudden my chest tightens; tighter and tighter. My jaw starts to hurt. I break out in a cold sweat and start to feel weak. And then my room is full of firemen, doing all kinds of things that I don’t really remember. David can’t go with me because of his disability. So Hannah comes. Leaving the men behind; seeing their faces...omg. ‘I love you I love you’ I say a thousand times. And poor David; tormented that he cannot be with me; protect me. Poor me;  that he cannot be with me; hold my hand...tell me it’s ok. 

Hannah did a super job. Don’t get me wrong. It was just hard. 

I’m not ready to go. But are we ever?  When we least expect it, it can happen. It was just so scary. 

But this year has been scary. Just when you think it could never get more scary...I’m kinda done with it all. Let’s start a calm chapter for a change. Can I get an amen?

They check my blood all night. My troponin levels continued to rise through the night until the morning when they started falling. 

They finally moved me to a room after staying in the ER all night Thursday into the wee hours of Friday morning. We slept all day. At least tried with all the checking and poking and prodding. Saturday came and they finally wheeled me into ‘the room.’  The cold room. The room where they see what damage has been made and if they need to put in a stint. 

The blockage is in a precarious place. It was too hard to reach to repair. So now I tiptoe everywhere. Not really, but it feels like it sometimes. 

My blood pressure: normal. Cholesterol: normal. 

Can you believe STRESS can do this?  I didn’t. I do now!  

Learning to calm myself down. Let it go. Not an easy feat but doing my best. 

There. In a nutshell. 

I love you all and am so very thankful for your love and prayers!  

Love,

His Shelli

Ps. Did I say I’m sorry that I can’t figure out why you can’t leave comments?  I will try to figure it out. In the meantime, visuallyrepaired@gmail.com. 

(I already said this, right?)