Damn those tears

Forgive me for being sad... still. 

I’m trying not to be. 

Really. 

It just feels so heavy 
right now.

Heavy. 

I have a disabled husband. 

He needs me. 

I’m here.
I got him. 
And that 
is not a problem. 

I’m just 
not so good at it. 

But I am learning. 

Oh do I hope 
beyond hope 
that he 
would get better. 

A miracle
is what we will need. 

But reality
is so freaking rude.

‘I need to get 
some water, 
Advil, 
and I need my cough medicine. 
I will get it.’

Oh no you won’t.
He can’t.

He can.

But it will take him 
thirty minutes 
to recover.
So I do it. 

I am always
five steps ahead 
and make decisions based upon that.

When I sit and think?
Tears will not stop. 
So I try not to think. 
Just stay busy.

Please pray for us. 
We are on the bottom
Of the ocean floor. 

XO
Shelli