David and I don’t get too much me and him time. It may be we are avoiding it. All we do is fuss and cry because he wants my job and I want his.
It’s still just so uncomfortable. And my job is very physical. I am soaking wet when I come home and I never used to sweat.
I make 1/4 of what he made. My contribution feels so unhelpful. There are two people that give month to month. But we can’t count on it. It’s a surprise every month. And it’s just presumptuous to except it. But it has been our life-jacket every time.
I would love to say everything is wonderful and I am loving the work. One day, yes, one day, may it be so.
We are here; healthy as can be. And the mortgage is paid this month. Day by day. Month by month. This is how we live. I personally want to sink. But I love too much to desire such a thing.
And my heart. It aches. Spiritually; physically. What a scary thing.
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I have no words but please know you and your family are always in my prayers. Don't get discouraged with the disability situation. It took my sister's brother-in-law ten "attempts" at it before it was finally granted (he has seizures). I know that's probably not encouraging, but I tell you because it can happen if you keep applying similar to how insurance will pay a claim if you keep submitting it.
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